Too many things on my plate. Show on Thursday to get ready for, books to read for next week, presentations to plan, work to do, and then on top of all that a lot of internal emotions to sort through. Unfortunately, it seems like I can only afford to do all but the last.
I want my cup to runneth over not my plate.
Thank you friend for the encouragement 
“Be still, and know that I am God”
I’ve been thinking a lot online presence these days. Especially in a culture where people are consistently online more than they are actually out and about and meeting other people face to face. I suppose, in essence, I’ve been wondering how much emphasis I should place on maintaining relationships with other people through the internet. On one hand, it is very easy to communicate (Facebook, Gchat, etc) and it has also begun to have more emotional value as it is becoming more and more accepted as a form of thoughtful communication. On the other hand, the amount of connections one CAN make seems to be overwhelming, and it still doesn’t really have the same weight as talking with someone one on one.
I suppose what I’m coming to the conclusion of is this: long distance friendships can be maintained through the web. Closer relationships should be fostered by the web, but only as a supplement to real human interaction. I think it would start to become a very sad reality if we all just talked to each other through the internet even though we may be sitting across from each other (BTW, this has happened already and though it was funny, I hope it doesn’t become a regular thing).
For me personally, I never really liked talking on Facebook and commenting on blogs and things of that nature. But I think that it actually warrants more of my time simply because it shows other people that I do really care. I think it’s just that I used to think that being online too much had a very negative connotation (I suppose it still does to some degree) and would just use Facebook/Twitter/Blogs as a form of information gathering. But I think the web has evolved to have more of a personal feel to it over these past 5 – 10 years or so. Perhaps I should rethink how I use these forms of social media.
At this juncture, I feel like God picked up my life and threw it in a giant sifter. Like He was panning for gold or something. There’s so much going on, so much changing, it feels like everything is blurring together and getting mixed up. Like if you were to agitate settled dirt through a screen. While I think this process of understanding what “less of me, more of You” is good, it also makes me very lost at times. Like I’m just waiting for the dirt to settle so I can see clearly again.
Faith, InterVarsity, Music Production, Start Up Businesses, Community Building, Friendships, Relationships…
These are a few of the things that I wish to invest in… and a few of the things that take up my time… and a few things that make me thoroughly confused and tired.
All these things melded together forms a cacophonous mix of emotions that are… well very difficult to understand at times. Regardless, I suppose the one thing I’ve been learning in the midst of change and shifting environments/circumstances: is that there is nothing like Jesus.
When we ask God, like in Psalms 35:3, “Say to my soul, ‘I am your salvation,’” it immediately takes us outside of ourselves and our circumstances and puts a bit of Kingdom perspective on things.
No matter what crap hits the fan, I know that the anchor for my soul is Christ. Every moment we live by the name of Christ, there is an unspeakable joy that thrives deep within us. That is the joy I wish to operate out of. That is what I seek, and thank God, He is always there to be found…
So when the dirt settles, and filters through the screen, I know that is when true gold will appear. Though it may be agitating and it may be uncomfortable, gold is at the end. A spiritual gold mine that is deep within each of us.
Photo Credit of Grace Jiras
“Everyone in the apartment complex I lived in knew who Ugly was. Ugly was the resident tomcat.
Ugly loved three things in this world: fighting, eating garbage, and shall we say, love. The combination of these things combined with a life spent outside had their effect on Ugly.
To start with, he had only one eye, and where the other should have been was a gaping hole. He was also missing his ear on the same side, his left foot has appeared to have been badly broken at one time, and had healed at an unnatural angle, making him look like he was always turning the corner. His tail has long since been lost, leaving only the smallest stub, which he would constantly jerk and twitch. Ugly would have been a dark gray tabby striped-type, except for the sores covering his head, neck, even his shoulders with thick, yellowing scabs.
Every time someone saw Ugly there was the same reaction. “That’s one UGLY cat!!”
All the children were warned not to touch him, the adults threw rocks at him, hosed him down, squirted him when he tried to come in their homes, or shut his paws in the door when he would not leave.
Ugly always had the same reaction. If you turned the hose on him, he would stand there, getting soaked until you gave up and quit. If you threw things at him, he would curl his lanky body around feet in forgiveness. Whenever he spied children, he would come running meowing frantically and bump his head against their hands, begging for their love. If you ever picked him up he would immediately begin suckling on your shirt, earrings, whatever he could find.
One day Ugly shared his love with the neighbors huskies. They did not respond kindly, and Ugly was badly mauled. From my apartment I could hear his screams, and I tried to rush to his aid. By the time I got to where he was laying, it was apparent Ugly’s sad life was almost at an end.
Ugly lay in a wet circle, his back legs and lower back twisted grossly out of shape, a gaping tear in the white strip of fur that ran down his front. As I picked him up and tried to carry him home I could hear him wheezing and gasping, and could feel him struggling. I must be hurting him terribly I thought.
Then I felt a familiar tugging, sucking sensation on my ear – Ugly, in so much pain, suffering and obviously dying was trying to suckle my ear. I pulled him closer to me, and he bumped the palm of my hand with his head, then he turned his one golden eye towards me, and I could hear the distinct sound of purring. Even in the greatest pain, that ugly battled-scarred cat was asking only for a little affection, perhaps some compassion.
At that moment I thought Ugly was the most beautiful, loving creature I had ever seen. Never once did he try to bite or scratch me, or even try to get away from me, or struggle in any way. Ugly just looked up at me completely trusting in me to relieve his pain.
Ugly died in my arms before I could get inside, but I sat and held him for a long time afterwards, thinking about how one scarred, deformed little stray could so alter my opinion about what it means to have true pureness of spirit, to love so totally and truly. Ugly taught me more about giving and compassion than a thousand books, lectures, or talk show specials ever could, and for that I will always be thankful. He had been scarred on the outside, but I was scarred on the inside, and it was time for me to move on and learn to love truly and deeply. To give my total to those I cared for.
Many people want to be richer, more successful, well liked, beautiful, but for me, I will always try to be Ugly.”
-author unknown
p.s. thanks alison for sharing this!
For all you who weren’t able to get a copy of Inoculation at Kava Lounge, now you can download it for free from bandcamp!
Cop it now by clicking below.
http://alphamethod.bandcamp.com
I’ll also be making more physical copies, but more info on that later!
I just realized that y’all are probably wondering about what the track listing is for the album since I didn’t put it on the CD, haha.
Here it is:
1. I’m About To…
2. Incedo 2572
3. Pray
4. Setting The Stakes
5. Raising The Stakes
6. Keep Cruisin’
7. Adoration
8. Inoculation
9. Just A Dream
10. Admonish
11. Rainy Season
Amazing night tonight! Everyone played amazing sets… bass, to hip hop, to beats cut like i don’t even know what. Pictures will follow, from the amazing photographer Elisha Fong. (Check out her site.) Tonight has been a major blessing in so many ways, from Take coming down to perform, to having fellow UCSD peeps by my side, to having the Kava regulars behind my back, and having all my friends come out to cheer me on, it was a great time. All my stress from leading up to the performance totally paled in comparison to the love everyone showed, thank you for that!
Lastly, like my Facebook page or follow my Soundcloud! You know you want to. All the cool kids are doing it, haha.
For now, here is a picture from my friend Lucy of my album printed out.
I haven’t watched all of it yet, but I can already tell this is a must watch.
Now that the merge is complete, I would like to share with you guys a glimpse into probably one of the most life giving parts of my walk with God, the UCSD campus ministry. As some of you may know, I was the Vision team leader for the Media Comm Team at UCSD for 2 years, and this next year I will be a volunteer staff overlooking what this year’s team will be doing. One of the MCT Alumni, Elliott (now at grad school at Stanford for Computer Science, DANG), sent me and the other team members this email:
“Hi guys and gals,
